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Food drabbles
shut_down_angel

Hey all! So I've got two drabbles for Jun's prompt. They're actually on time. ^_^ Aso, both dialogue-only, I've been kind of obsessed with those lately. I've got a few more ficlets which I'll post later. Anyway, enjoy these two =D

Fic: food1
Pairing: Colin/Jared
Rating: pg13
Words: 100

“Did you know that people used to think that corn was like a penis? And that the kernels were sperm.”               

“Are you fucking with me?”

“No.”

“Which people?”

“A Mesoamerican group. I forget.”

“Shit. That’s weird.”

“I know.”

“Corn has forever been defiled to me. I don’t know if I can eat it again.”

“Really? I thought you would eat it every day now.”

“Fuck you.”

“Don’t you mean ‘shuck you’?”

“Shuck the fuck up – I mean shut!”

“Shame. I could use a good shucking.”

“You’re gross.”

“Does that make you wanna pop my kernel?”
        
              "Unfortunately, whatever that means, yes."


Fic: Food 2
Pairing: Jared/Colin
Rating: pg13
Words: 300

 

“Colin!”

“What?”

“Where are you?”

“In here.”

“Where the fuck is here?”

“In fucking here!”

“…What are you doing?”

“Trying’ to play rockband, aren’t I? What the fuck are you doing?”

“I just got back from my jog and went to the kitchen to drink my diet green tea.”

“Was it good?”

“I don’t know. It was gone.”

“Did you find it?”

“I did. I found the empty bottle in the trash can.”

“Love, I can’t listen and play at the same time. Is there a point to this story?”

“The point is that you drank my tea when I made a point of telling you not to!”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. Now pause the game before I pause it permanently.”

“Fine. But I didn’t drink it.”

“Really? Then who did? We’re the only ones here, Colin.”

“I’m aware of that. Maybe you drank it and forgot.”

“…No. I did not.”

“Well you wouldn’t know, would you? That’s why it’s calling forgetting.”

“Colin!”

“What!”

“Confess.”

“Fuckin’ hell. I’ve nothing to confess to!”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Christ, Jared, I’ll buy you a truck-load of fucking teas if it’ll make you happy!”

“That’s not the point! The point is that you’re not being honest with me.”

“But I am – are you going to get that?”

“Yeah. Stay there. What is it, Shannon? I was jogging. You did? Did you see a diet green tea in the fridge…? Shannon! That was my tea, you asshole! Remind me why you have a key to our house…yeah. Whatever. See you.”

“…Well?”

“…I guess you’re off the hook.”

“Really.”

“Yes. Now go on playing.”

“I don’t feel like playing anymore.”

“Then what do you feel like?”

“Like I need to be made up to.”

“…Fine. Which dress?”

“The dark gold one. Don’t forget the heels.”

 



  • 1
LOL! 2-nd was so funny! I like it. :-D

Thanks girl! I love when my humor is line with other people ^_^

(and I just edited the first drabble because I left off the last line, just so you know!)

OMG! OMG! *stern look at you* you should come here and rescue me because there are some people looking terrifying at me crying and laughing and reading in the coffee house where I am.
What is worse, is that I can't explain the corn thing to them or the make up cross dressing! they will lock me up!

Well done E!!!!!

lol! I wish I could see the looks those people were giving you. Unfortunately, people looking at you oddly probably only makes you laugh more. At least with me it does. But I'm glad I made you laugh! Thanks dear!

I actually just edited the first drabble - seems I had forgotten the very last line. >.> So if you want, read it. lol.

well, we are sure now that he got what he anted with that line you added!

LOL

I did not know the 'corn' relation. Now, I don't know if I can ever eat 'corn on a cub' in front of my kids with a straight face *giggles*

Ahaha the last line is priceless in the second drabble!

Loved both of them, they were so funny :)

Aww, I always luv praise from Jun. ^_^ Like I said to too_beauty, I edited the first drabble to add the last line to it, so if you thought it was left hanging, you can go back and read it. Anyway, thanks vury much deary. I know what you mean about corn. >.> My friend told me about that (in much more detail) and I was like Oooookkkk then. So I had to share it with all of you. =]

LOL That second one was hilarious! "Fine. Which dress?" lol Priceless.

1.Funny and sexy! *lol*
Soo 'shucking' funny with all the corns and kernels, hehehe!
2.Sexy and funny, *snickers*
“…Fine. Which dress?”
“The dark gold one. Don’t forget the heels.”

Loved this so much!

xoxo

lol "pop my kernel"

lol
“…Fine. Which dress?”
“The dark gold one. Don’t forget the heels.”
I wanna see that dress... And the heels xD

By the way, happy birthday! :D

Haha both so funny! :D loved the last 3 lines of the second one most!!

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